Curse of Curves

Welp, I'm not really curvy actually.. Just my boobs. For those who don't know me...I have 32DD's. I absolutely loathe the fact that I have big boobs! Their is NOTHING, NOTHING good about them.. besides the attention from guys and the fact that girls get jealous of them and even that gets old.

Big boobs SUCK. Mainly because we live in a world that idolizes women with big boobs but also pushes their woman to be stick thin. So, clothes are made proportionately to the general public. Meaning woman who are smaller sizes generally have smaller boobs and woman who are bigger sizes have bigger boobs. Well here is my problem in this genre.. I am a size 2 with DD's... Therefore I can buy an extra small shirt, dress, etc and have my boobs falling out or i can buy an extra large and have my boobs perfectly situated and look 10 pounds bigger. I am also NOT ok with the fact that Bigger size clothes.. aren't always so fashionable! Why is that? Is the bigger person not entitle to looking good? Now.. adult sizes in general tend to run bigger and our fashionable in all means... but that is not MY style that is not the style of a younger adult...Frustrating!

I HATE bra shopping because They don't make the cute bras size DD.. not DD is reserved for the Grandma bras in plain black,white and nude. I also struggle with a bra that actually SUPPORTS my boobs. I again, don't know how they haven't made a CUTE bra that actually supports my boobs. In case, you didn't know big boobs tend to sag (gross word) more and give people back problems. I feel this issue needs to be address. Same Goes with bathing suit shopping. I'm not a fan of the beach.. but lately I think it has to do more with the fact that I hate shopping for bathing suits cause none of them ever actually fit. I'm an active person and although, I like to tan at the beach I also, want to be able to go run around and play; which is impossible when my bathing suits can't keep my boobs under control. I went onto Victoria Secrets website to look at Swimsuits.. since the sell them by bra size and not Small to Large. I was happy to see that they had an area for bigger boobs. Only to be disappointed in 1. the fact that most of the bathing suits were ugly and 2. the all stop at the cup size D. One site I went too.. only had ONE DD option and it was this hideous ty-dye tankini. I am sure the ty-dye tankini is cute to some people and they love it, but I believe I am not the only big boobed person out there who is upset by the lack of choices we have out there!

Bristol Palin

For those of you who are not sure who Bristol Palin is, she is the daughter of former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. Bristol being known for being 18 and pregnant at the time of the 2008 election. This was consider to be a "scandal" given she was a teen parent and well her was running for vice president on the republican ticket.

Bristol has since then had her son Tripp and separated from her baby daddy Levi Johnston. She now speaks to teens about the prevention of teen pregnancy and has openly spoken about how had it is to be a teen mom. What shocks me is that a lot of media outlets are slamming her for this! Saying she is whining and doesn't love her child. This is unbelievable, here we have someone who is being honest and being a role model. She is saying it's hard, she is saying she wishes she would have waited, that doesn't mean she doesn't love her son, it means she just wishes she could be able to support her son better, therefore waiting till she was older. Would you rather have her going around saying..."oh, this is sooo easy...every teen should have kids" ?! What would you be more upset with.. your daughter coming home pregnant and saying " oh but Bristol Palin says it's easy"... To all the haters. FUCK YOU. And to say "oh.. my daughter wouldn't do that" ... remember the teens involved in The Pregnancy Pact? Those were girls who were not educated on contraception and wanted to be teen moms like Jamie Lynn Spears.

Proof Read.

I suck at proof reading. I don't do it. I type what I want to say... spell check and than post it. So I am sorry to whoever has ever read this and realized that some of what I write does not make sense (again probably doesn't help that I type them at the crack of dawn) I swear I am an educated person who excels at English. I'm just lazy at spell checking.

Anyways, I am now back in Toluca Lake living a happy life. The rest of my trip in San Jose was alright. Saturday I had Tea at Lisa's Tea Treasures in the Pruneyard with my Aunts Debbie & Diana, my cousin Taylor and my aunt's boyfriends mother. We had such a lovely time and I ended up buying a tea pot and two mugs as well as some tea. Later that night we ended going and seeing Kick Ass. Which was a pretty good movie. Personally, I think the movie was only good due to their AMAZING fight scenes. Sunday we ran some errands and I visited my Grandma's grave leaving her a Mother's Day card and flowers. Yesterday (May 3rd) was actually 2 years since she passed = (. Once I finally arrived in Burbank, after an hour delay. I picked up my Pink Leopard Print Betsey Johnson Travel bag up from baggage claim ONLY to see that it had be ripped down the sides. Normally I wouldn't care... but this is a fairly new, EXPENSIVE and cute bag. So now, I have to give them my bag.. so they can send it to Dallas, so Southwest HQ can decide how they want to compensate me. After dealing with that and arriving home to a disarrayed apartment....thanks to my lovely cats. I decided to set up my Wii and sync it up with my Netflix so I can stream movies from my comp. to my TV.. which would save me bundles of cash on ONDemand... unfortunately, It refused to connect to my Wi-Fi... which made me day THAT much better.

Better News...
Netflix now has WEEDS:Season 5 on watch Instantly(on my comp.) which I have been waiting forever for! Now just have to wait for Dexter and The Tudors newer seasons to do the same thing! Went on a long walk and started posting fliers for Dog Walking,Baby sitting or House Sitting Jobs and had lunch at Paty's learned more about my secret admirer.... Story is this guy comes in to Paty's everyday for years and orders take-out one day he saw me and now comes in and asks about me. According to the manager he has never noticed anybody till me and I guess, he saw my Republican sticker and liked it... cause " I don't act like it". So.. today they were telling me that he is a Personal Trainer who used go to USC. My mother thinks this is a potential stalker... but to be honest in Toluca Lake.... this has been normal for me. I am also, reading Sean Hannity's new book Conservative Victory and definitely enjoying it. Although, it is so frustrating to know the truth about Obama and see people still supporting him. Now, it is time for me to get back to sewing.

Can We Pretend...

...That Airplanes In The Night Sky, Are Like Shooting Stars? I Can Really Use A Wish Right Now...Wish Right Now...

Basically, A lyric from my favorite song at the moment. Airplanes- B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams and Eminem. Anyways.. life. I arrived in San Jose on Thurs. and can pretty much already can't wait to be home in Toluca Lake. It's interesting how being in San Jose makes me feel more "childish" I guess. My personality for the most part changes when I come back. When I'm here, I just want my mom to do everything... although ironically, I don't really see her... although at time when I'm in Toluca Lake I do miss San Jose, but that's because I become lonely.

So far, I just want to be home. Being back has been drama. I'm going to be honest Brandon's mom is crazy, I have to like her cause she's Brandon's mom, but I am so happy that Brandon is done with her. I have never meant a more selfish,immature 45 year old in my life. It is frustrating because I don't want stuff to be strained between us, but she really does it to herself and I had enough of it when it started affecting Brandon and bringing him down. Anyways, due to this drama I was kicked off the phone line that I shared with them. So today my mom, Brandon and I spent hours at the T-Mobile store setting up our account. I'm going to be honest, I am disappointed that I cannot use my old # which I have had since I was 13 but I guess it is something I will have to get used too, I am happy that I get to have My blackberry back = ) Today, I am doing Tea with the woman on my Dad's side of the family and I am really actually excited for it! Sad my Grandma can't be there, makes even harder since it's only 2 days away from when she passed.

I can never end this properly, cause I get so tired I just want to sleep... keep you readers aka ONE reader ha and it's my mom.. updated. Night <3

I Am Blessed

Everyone had their good days and their bad days, but the one thing I always need to remember is how blessed I am. I am blessed to have found my loving and amazing fiance, I am Blessed to have the friends that I still have.. cause those are who real friends are and most of all to have such an AMAZING family.

I am Blessed.

I am blessed to have the opportunities that I have been given thanks to the love, support and generosity of my family. There is this saying that I got from my friend Natalie "Friends are the family you wish you had" which makes sense because friends really know you in a different way than your family does. However, family would (at least they should) always be there for you to support you. REALLY they should unless you've committed some horrible unspeakable act. Otherwise, family never lets you down. At least mine doesn't. I may not always see eye to eye with my family, but I know that they love me and I love them. I am Blessed.

It amazes me about how some people don't value family as much. How some people can be SO SO SO SO SO SO selfish and delusional. I feel sorry for the people who don't have family, but if you can rise above that, say "fuck you" and find people who love you and support you. Then You are Blessed.

We often take for granted how blessed we are.

Parenting For Dummies

I have a love/hate relationship with Perez Hilton. Especially as of lately, since a lot of is postings have been posted late and can be miss-informed. However, he has been talking a lot about Lindsay Lohan and her family and all their drama. I know that everything is not what it seems from the outside looking in; but..... this is OBVIOUSLY a dysfunctional family.

For the past 3 years or so... Lindsay as been known more for her trips to rehab,DUI's, Arrests and partying every night than the fact that she was once a successful model/actress/singer. All we hear now is about her skipping her court appearances to go shopping, being bankrupt, partying to hard, making false allegations towards her ex, stealing, and getting dropped from roles. I mean she is so bad, that directors refuse to work with her and the Jersey Shore cast gets paid more than she does for club appearances! Seriously, this chick needs help!

The worst part is that her "concerned" father is a fame whore and her mother is in complete denial and likes fame pimping her daughters out. I have never seen a mother despite all evidence proving otherwise, continues to say her daughters career is doing amazing, that she is not bankrupt and that she is completely and totally sober. REALLY? REALLY?! Have we not seen where this will lead too. It is SO bad that LA newspapers have ALREADY written Lohan's obituary. We all see it and the person who can do the most to stop her and help her enables her and not only enables her but allows her younger daughter to be exposed to it. Ali, Lindsay's sister now lives with her in LA and the have been spotted clubbing together constantly (FYI: Ali is 16) and it doesn't help that their Dad just uses Lindsay's problems to gain him some camera time. It really and truly is unfortunate.


IN OTHER NEWS....

Life for me has been okay. Was a little stressed for a little bit, cause Brandon was kicked out, so I was naturally worried for him.. but he has a plan and I am happy for him. I am also happy because he came down to visit me. The first 2 days we didn't do much but hang out; but yesterday we decided to go to Disneyland and it ended up that his friends Kevin and Michelle were visiting Disneyland at the same time. So we spent the night hanging out with them at Disneyland and we had SO SO SO much fun. I really enjoyed it cause it was our first time hanging out with another couple and on top of that they are married; so we had a better understanding of each other since Brandon and I engaged. Then this afternoon Brandon and I went back to Disneyland and had such a fun day. I will be sad for him to leave, but I'm visiting San Jose next weekend ; so it will only be a 3 day difference.

I have decided to stay here for the summer and work my butt off working, while taking online classes. I am really excited to work and take the Online classes. I'm thinking of doing Dog Walking for a little bit. Mainly, cause it is good money, my hours and I get a work out. I got this idea, because I take Walks around Toluca Lake everyday and see people walking their dogs. So, I thought about all the rich people in Toluca Lake who have dogs and need them walked. HA perfect. We will see how that pans out... but in general I LOVE Toluca Lake and I LOVE the houses in Toluca Lake, I just want to buy them all! Hmm, well as usual. This has exhausted me. Night.

Maturity Vs Immaturity

There is a fine line between maturity and immaturity, that is different in different situations and doesn't always involve age. There is the literal sense of being mature - which is older and more life experience/growing and the literal sense of immature - still having growing up to do. In most people no matter what their age be, still have "immature" qualities but nothing that would make you say that person is immature.

I think you find maturity and immaturity in the cases of Drama. Almost everyone hates drama, but usually has some sort of drama in their lives. I personally try to avoid drama... doesn't mean I don't have drama or people trying to cause drama. I think when drama begins, you have to know your opponent, know your principles and know when to either stick up for yourself or when to just ignore it.

The internet is like the fuel to the fire of immaturity and drama. I love Facebook and I love status updates, i love telling people how I feel,what I'm doing, etc. Even if no one really cares. I also for the most part like to keep it real; you just have to know when it's time to speak and when it's time to keep your mouth shut. Ah... keeping your mouth shut, something to be honest; i'm not so good at. I like the truth and I like people to know the truth; but I don't ever want to seriously offend anyone...a balancing act really. And yes, sometimes I just wabt to be the bitch and tell it like it completely is; sometimes I do want to call people out, but THAT would be immature. when it comes to the internet you need to know these things, cause this is how drama begins. However, it's not always the speaker who instigates the drama but the reader who may start the drama.

Example:
If the speaker states a fact w/o calling out/mocking any form of rudeness towards a person/place or thing. -Mature, not instigating
If Reader decides to get offended and call out speaker therefore starting a problem - immature,instigator
If speaker personally calls out,mocks and belittles a person -immature,instigator.

The point is either side can be immature, it just depends on who causes the drama. I have seen this happen more then once and it is a shameful thing. Doing so , on the internet usually gives less credit to maturity on either side, but does not change the fact that the instigator is almost always the immature one.Mainly, when making drama out of nothing. I could go into more depth, but shall refrain for it is time to say good-bye and enjoy my fiance's visit.